(Had this up on my FaceBook decided to post it here. None of this is directed at anybody, I just wanna say it.)

*Sometimes I say things that are supposed to mean well, but they come out wrong. It just happens and I’m sorry.

*I make mistakes. I’m human, get over it.

*How is that “oui” is pronounced “we”? It makes no sense.

*I know I don’t have a lot of money and I can’t get certain things I want. I’ve learned to live with it, but by continually calling me a “charity case” by saying you aren’t….. that’s just cruel.

*Why is it that if you have two beefing celebs, they can have mutual friends? That makes no sense to me.

*The dude Leoben, he’s a mysterious guy no matter what he’s on. He’s funny though too.

*Since The Weather Channel is going to start broadcasting weather related movies, does that mean one day Animal Planet may show “Cougar Town”?

*I want to know Libby’s backstory. I’ll even buy the comic just to find out.

*Eagles fans, I was originally going to make fun of you, turns out you do that yourselves.

*I am hungry.

*I’ve made the joke, I’ll say it again, and I don’t care who knows it “He didn’t push me out a window or make me a drunk, but I swear that with my daddy issues, I should try to find the Island.”

*The above is a reference to LOST.

*I consider LOST the best show on television ever, and I will argue to the death that it’s true.

*4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42.

*One day I will write a successful movie or television show.

*Right now, if I had the money and people willing to help, I have several of both movies and television shows that I can make. That is not counting short stories and projects I’m still writing, of which there are also several.

*Lady GaGa’s version of “PokerFace” is old and it sucks. The two best versions are by Eric Cartman and Christopher Walken. Another good version is Kid Cudi’s sampling of the song.

*I wish I could drive.

*Sometimes I wish I could speak my mind freely.

*I usually wish I had more confidence. Sadly I don’t.

*If Lon Chaney would’ve made more talking pictures, I believe he would be the greatest actor of all time.

*I want to be the next JJ Abrams.

*King of the Hill should not have been canceled.

*Canceled is spelled with one “l”. Look it up, I’m right.

*I never know how to spell the color that black and white make.

*Yes, above, I meant “gray/grey”. It confuses me much like “while/whilst”.

*I listen to Lil Wayne. Even if you don’t like rap, I recommend him just for his lyrical skills.

*There’s only one medium that I wish I could write but will probably never be able to do.

*I am a stickler for grammar.

*I think the Gunn brothers are hilarious.

*If you ever get the chance, please watch PG Porn. It is actually very funny.

*Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I get to eat as much as I’d like and *not* get in trouble. Very different than every other day of the year.

*A South Korean woman passed her driver’s test on the 950th try. Who says Asians are poor drivers?

*I am probably in a rare group of people. I have never dialed “867-5309”. Never.

*In my opinion, there are only two good things to do in Plymouth: 1) Leave. 2) Play “who’s the baby’s daddy?”

*I often make bad jokes about Plymouth and the people therein. In all honesty, I love Plymouth. That is probably because I rarely visit.

*No matter what you say, Twitter is the greatest social network site to date.

*I know many useless trivial things.

*I am finally going to look for something to eat.

*Morena Baccarin is one of the sexiest women alive.

*I cannot be anyone but myself. Some of you may want me to be someone else, but I can’t and won’t. You’ll either love me for me, or you won’t.

*According to my mom, I never had monsters under my bed.

*If one says “I love you”, that doesn’t mean that they’re “in love with you”. Hopefully, you love your family and friends, but that doesn’t mean that you are in love with them.

*Where does your lap go when you’re standing up?

*While you’re thinking of that, what purpose does your butt have while you’re standing?

*I do not believe in “global warming”. I believe things happen in cycles. It gets hot, it gets cold. That’s how it is. Deal with it.

*50 Cent confirmed that he listens to Taylor Swift. That is awesome.

*Whenever speaking about former VP Dick Cheney, I always refer to him as “The Chainsaw”, and then proceed to make a chainsaw noise.

*”The eye of the beholder” is a funny sounding phrase to me.

*Please do no invite me to all of your apps and games and causes on FaceBook. I always delete them. If I was here for those things, I’d be apart of them already.

*No one has weirder dreams than my mother.

*Never take every single person at their word. Always try to have proof.

*Are we really supposed to believe that is the same guy playing Pike in both “The Cage” and “The Menagerie”?

*Why does the CMA Awards logo look like the Starfleet logo?

*Why have a countdown to a countdown? ABC Family has a “countdown to ‘25 days of Christmas’”, but, their “25 days of Christmas” is a countdown. It makes no sense!

*I hate when people say they were “loling”. Does that mean you were “laugh out louding”? It makes no sense. Say you were “lol”, and don’t complain if it doesn’t sound right, it shouldn’t any time….. “lol” is not a word to begin with.

*Where did all the anvils go?

*I listen to music from all decades beginning with the 1930s. The only things I don’t really listen to is disco and most 80s “hair” music and whatnot. Other than that, all music is welcomed.

*People who say “acrosst” and “heighth” need to learn to speak.

*This list was different on FaceBook.

I’ve been here before
I’ve walked this land
I’m searching for more
Take my hand
Leading us is the belief
Taking our hearts even if brief
I’ve seen your face
In my dreams
In this place
Nothing is what it seems

Here’s a little background on the following story. I woke up this morning at 8:48 to turn my television off. I then fell back asleep until 10:58. Within that period of sleep, I had the following, continuous dream. As everyone knows, I’m a huge fan of LOST. At the end of the first season and all during the second season the discovered and investigated a mysterious “hatch”. At the end of the second season they seemed forced to detonate the “hatch” with the ‘fail safe’ key. Now, let us begin.


I was in what I was calling my “hatch”. In actuality it was just bathroom stalls underground. I was there with three characters from “That 70s Show”, Eric, Donna, and Jackie. We were all talking about numerous things, when suddenly, someone hit the “fail safe”, forcing us all to escape. Eric and I made it out okay, but we weren’t sure if Jackie and Donna would also make it out. A large white flash then occurred.

Next thing I knew, I woke up in the woods. In front of me I saw Jackie, but, strangely, she had no feet. (Now, when I say, ‘no feet’, I don’t mean they were surgically removed and stubbed over, I mean, as if you were to cut the legs off a chair flat. That’s how she looked.) She was barely able to stand, but she somehow managed. The people in the woods were very strange. They were futuristic but primitive at the same time. I did not like them, just as they did not like me. That is one reason I had been living in the “hatch”. We soon found out a rattlesnake had stolen Jackie’s feet. (I feel compelled to point out at this point, Jackie and my cousin Cassy were interchangeable, as was Donna with my cousin Rae.) Jackie/Cassy was then trying to get her feet back from the snake while I was attempting to listen to the teachings of the wood-dwelling people. I then turned around because I couldn’t listen anymore.

The moment I turned around I was in Gerrity’s parking lot at night. Cassy [with her feet], Rae, and myself then transformed into the cast of “Malcolm in the Middle”. I was Malcolm, Rae was Reese, Cassy was an unknown family member, and my younger cousin Colin showed up to take the role of Dewey. In the parking lot, there seemed to be a ‘rent-a-big-brother’ thing going on. Apparently, someone signed me up, to which I was not amused. But then, after seeing the poster for me, with two different, and two wrong, last names, I felt I needn’t participate. The two last names on the poster were “Bronson” and “Wing”. (For those not aware, the family on “Malcolm in the Middle” never had a confirmed last name.) A rather strange man then began following me, saying he had paid to rent me for his daughter to have a big brother. The man seemed drunk. I pointed out to him that there were two different last names on the poster, which disqualified me. He began to argue that his name was on that poster, so he ‘deserved’ to take me home. At this point I was by the family car, so I got in. I was sitting in the backseat, passenger side. Rae and Cassy got in, Cassy in the middle, Rae behind the drivers seat. Colin then sat in the front passenger seat. We thought we had locked all the doors. We were wrong. The man, yelling from outside, was suddenly inside, starting the car. By this point, my family and I had transformed back into my family and this strange man was taking us somewhere. Colin, on instinct, pulled out a phone and dialed 911. He had somehow acquired a Spanish accent, and the operator couldn’t understand him. He then handed the phone to me while the man continued to drive. I was told by the operator to leave a message of my situation, which I did. Mid-way through the message, someone on the other line picked up, but did not speak until I was through. The other person was my aunt Marie, who said she was there with her husband, Trevor, and my mother. While the man was driving us on Shawnee Ave., she confirmed that everything happening was a dream. I couldn’t believe her. It was all so real. I then asked the others in the car with me, and Rae seemed to be the only one to confirm it was a dream. I asked how I could wake up, to which no one had an answer. Aunt Marie said I would have to figure out a way to wake up on my own and that I would “feel a little push”. I argued that I never abruptly woke from dreams, so I doubted this. I then did feel a little push on my shoulder.

As I “woke up”, Rae, Cassy, Colin, and I were sitting in a car in the exact same spots, with our parents gathered around chuckling. I told everyone of my dream and how real it felt. I was looking at each of them for the slightest hint of validation, but none could give me any, until I reached Cassy, who confirmed the same dream felt real to her also.  I was so confused.


I then really woke up, to the real world and loud, obnoxious birds making noises. I was awake for real this time, and I had one of the weirdest dreams, and one of the greatest stories to tell. I hope you all enjoyed my strange dream.

Who: Amber Kneller, Sean McDermott, Teala Howe, Tabitha Hylton, Amanda Hinz, Stef Yanchunis, Jen Kelly, Cynthia Mays, Maureen Lundstrom, Michael Ducey, Bob Gebo, Tori Congdon, Joleen Simon, Brit Pomichter, Christina Salvaggio, Kaitlin Malloy
What: Invitation to “Brat Pack” movie double feature (The Breakfast Club/St. Elmo’s Fire)
Where: My home. (Please ask for address)
When: Saturday October 24, 2009. Plan to arrive by 7.
Why: A night of fun with snacks, friends, movies.


(If any of those mentioned above feel I might have missed someone who would be a great addition, please inform me.)

If one cries in the rain, can another tell All the time I feel like I’m living in hell Most of the time, I think things can’t get worse Happens that they do, it’s like a curse Usually I’m helping other people out Right now, I have my own problem I need to talk about Things have to get better soon It’s like I’m crying inside a huge monsoon No big deal, go on and live like you always do Giving me a second thought seems like too much for you

Where did the time go
How long till I know
You’re the keeper of info
Now I wish you’d not have said ‘no’
Oh so many times before
Time has seemingly been a bore
Me sad, you o’er
Everything I thought was meant when you were the one I chose to adore

Nothing you can say will change how I feel
Only know that my emotions are real
This day will never be
It will not happen for you and me
Call my a downer, maybe call me sane
Either way I’m just telling it plain
Mad as it seems, I know it’s true
Even though I feel for you

Sorrow fills my soul
All my life I haven’t felt whole
Violence inside I can’t control
Everything tells my to quit
My heart is unfit
Elsewhere my mind’s in a fit
People tell me not to fret
Little do they know I can’t forget
Everything I’ve already let
Assume my soul
Still, I want to feel whole
Everything inside, I can’t control

How can you stand there
Seeming like you don’t care
As I lie daying
Lifting like wings
All your material things
As I lie daying
I continue to weep
While my secrets I keep
As I lie daying
I look in the mirror
And my fears draw nearer
As I lie daying
The tears in my eyes
Should be no surprise
As I lie daying
I’m on my knees
Begging please
As I lie daying
The time is here
Now you see my fear
As I lie daying
I cannot take it
I’m gonna break it
As I lie daying

Okay everybody just thought I’d give you all a little update on what’s been going on.

Well, as many of you know, I was working on a film that I posted about a few weeks ago.  Well, I still have that film, but as of right now, I’m not producing it.  I repeat I am NOT producing the “rap” film.  There are various reasons which I don’t necessarily want to get into right now, but if you’d like to know, just send me a message and ask,

I am instead writing and producing a film that is somewhat of an odd combination.  The newer film is a combination of a stoner/rom-com/suspense/action/buddy film.  It is an odd set up, but all together a good film with lots of vulgarity and lots or other stuff.  I think people will like it once they see it.

I’m also embarking on another, longer project that I’ll probably need a whole lot of help with.  Let’s just say that old school cinema is having a huge impact on me.  That’s all I’ll say.

There isn’t much else going on that’s of importance.  I’m actually really excited to be embarking on this magnificent journey and I hope you will all be patient, possibly help, and love this too.  I hope to please a lot of people, but mostly myself.  I am so excited.  That’s all there really is to say.

Thank you for reading and keeping up to date with me.  I’m also sorry to all of those that wanted to audition for my rap film, but rest assured, there are parts for almost all of you in my newer projects and I hope you’ll ask about them.

Once again, thank you all so much.

—J. Paul Casey