Here’s a little background on the following story. I woke up this morning at 8:48 to turn my television off. I then fell back asleep until 10:58. Within that period of sleep, I had the following, continuous dream. As everyone knows, I’m a huge fan of LOST. At the end of the first season and all during the second season the discovered and investigated a mysterious “hatch”. At the end of the second season they seemed forced to detonate the “hatch” with the ‘fail safe’ key. Now, let us begin.


I was in what I was calling my “hatch”. In actuality it was just bathroom stalls underground. I was there with three characters from “That 70s Show”, Eric, Donna, and Jackie. We were all talking about numerous things, when suddenly, someone hit the “fail safe”, forcing us all to escape. Eric and I made it out okay, but we weren’t sure if Jackie and Donna would also make it out. A large white flash then occurred.

Next thing I knew, I woke up in the woods. In front of me I saw Jackie, but, strangely, she had no feet. (Now, when I say, ‘no feet’, I don’t mean they were surgically removed and stubbed over, I mean, as if you were to cut the legs off a chair flat. That’s how she looked.) She was barely able to stand, but she somehow managed. The people in the woods were very strange. They were futuristic but primitive at the same time. I did not like them, just as they did not like me. That is one reason I had been living in the “hatch”. We soon found out a rattlesnake had stolen Jackie’s feet. (I feel compelled to point out at this point, Jackie and my cousin Cassy were interchangeable, as was Donna with my cousin Rae.) Jackie/Cassy was then trying to get her feet back from the snake while I was attempting to listen to the teachings of the wood-dwelling people. I then turned around because I couldn’t listen anymore.

The moment I turned around I was in Gerrity’s parking lot at night. Cassy [with her feet], Rae, and myself then transformed into the cast of “Malcolm in the Middle”. I was Malcolm, Rae was Reese, Cassy was an unknown family member, and my younger cousin Colin showed up to take the role of Dewey. In the parking lot, there seemed to be a ‘rent-a-big-brother’ thing going on. Apparently, someone signed me up, to which I was not amused. But then, after seeing the poster for me, with two different, and two wrong, last names, I felt I needn’t participate. The two last names on the poster were “Bronson” and “Wing”. (For those not aware, the family on “Malcolm in the Middle” never had a confirmed last name.) A rather strange man then began following me, saying he had paid to rent me for his daughter to have a big brother. The man seemed drunk. I pointed out to him that there were two different last names on the poster, which disqualified me. He began to argue that his name was on that poster, so he ‘deserved’ to take me home. At this point I was by the family car, so I got in. I was sitting in the backseat, passenger side. Rae and Cassy got in, Cassy in the middle, Rae behind the drivers seat. Colin then sat in the front passenger seat. We thought we had locked all the doors. We were wrong. The man, yelling from outside, was suddenly inside, starting the car. By this point, my family and I had transformed back into my family and this strange man was taking us somewhere. Colin, on instinct, pulled out a phone and dialed 911. He had somehow acquired a Spanish accent, and the operator couldn’t understand him. He then handed the phone to me while the man continued to drive. I was told by the operator to leave a message of my situation, which I did. Mid-way through the message, someone on the other line picked up, but did not speak until I was through. The other person was my aunt Marie, who said she was there with her husband, Trevor, and my mother. While the man was driving us on Shawnee Ave., she confirmed that everything happening was a dream. I couldn’t believe her. It was all so real. I then asked the others in the car with me, and Rae seemed to be the only one to confirm it was a dream. I asked how I could wake up, to which no one had an answer. Aunt Marie said I would have to figure out a way to wake up on my own and that I would “feel a little push”. I argued that I never abruptly woke from dreams, so I doubted this. I then did feel a little push on my shoulder.

As I “woke up”, Rae, Cassy, Colin, and I were sitting in a car in the exact same spots, with our parents gathered around chuckling. I told everyone of my dream and how real it felt. I was looking at each of them for the slightest hint of validation, but none could give me any, until I reached Cassy, who confirmed the same dream felt real to her also.  I was so confused.


I then really woke up, to the real world and loud, obnoxious birds making noises. I was awake for real this time, and I had one of the weirdest dreams, and one of the greatest stories to tell. I hope you all enjoyed my strange dream.